Temporary Moments of Clarity

At 6:20am, when my sadistic alarm clock began blaring and I slowly arose from the dismal 5-hour nap I call a full night’s sleep, I felt broken. I was both physically and emotionally drained and I couldn’t find any merits to leaving my bed and beginning my day.

I started to question all of the facets of my life that I had once been certain about. “Whys” and “What ifs” permeated my thoughts: “Why am I putting myself through this? What if I fail my exam tomorrow? What if I fail at life? What if I let my parents down? What if I graduate with no job offers? What if I can’t pay back my debt? Why am I here?”

When I realized that I had no answers to these questions, I decided to go back to sleep for a bit and try this wake-up thing again. Hopefully, 40 minutes would be enough time to help me find the “right” side of the bed.

And it was. I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose and this intrinsic, almost divine reassurance that everything would turn out fine, as it always had. I had this overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t in this alone; That a being far stronger and mightier than myself was looking out for me, having only my best interest in mind. My faith was renewed.

In this temporary moment of clarity, I remembered a quote that described my situation perfectly:

“In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I’m blessed.”

The things that had been weighing down so heavily on my heart and mind seemed so small compared to the good fortune that I sometimes forget I’ve been blessed with. So, I stopped focusing on the negatives in my life and started focusing on the positives. And was I surprised to find that the good things outnumbered the bad in blowout proportions!

It became clear to me then that life is all about perspective. What may seem like the worst thing to ever happen to you could very well be a blessing in disguise. You just have to look on the bright side. After all, if you only focus on the rain, you might miss the rainbow.

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