Wednesday, October 26, 2011 began like any other Wednesday I’d encountered in college. I woke up a few hours earlier than usual to complete an assignment due later that day and cram for two upcoming exams. I have serious procrastination issues.
Anyway, I stumbled out of bed, turned on the room light and plopped down in my desk chair. After about seven minutes of intense blinking, eye-rubbing, and trying to remember who and where I was, I opened my laptop and began working on my assignment. I had been working diligently for all of 2 minutes, when I heard this clinking sound above my head. I looked up at my ceiling (which I regret even to this day) and saw this huge- and when I say huge I don’t mean a queen bee or obese house fly, I mean the Godzilla of flying insects huge –HUGE bug swarming the light above my bed.
Before I was even sure of what I saw, I ducked and ran out of my room. My roommate had left for class and no one else in my suite was awake, so I ventured out to find someone to destroy this bug. Thankfully, I ran into the maintenance man, who I will graciously refer to as Maintenance Man, and told him about my situation. He agreed to help me in my conquest of murdering Bugzilla and followed me toward my room.
We stood out in the hallway observing the target as it flew around the light. Maintenance Man told me he had seen this type of monster before and said we should get a broom with which to swat it. When we returned to my room, however, the bug was nowhere to be found. The idea that this disgusting, despicable insect could be hiding somewhere in my belongings, possibly laying eggs of future spawns scared the you-know-what out of me.
So, I begged Maintenance Man to inspect the entire room for this monster, as I would not be returning to my room until it was gone. Unfortunately for us, the bug was a hide-and-seek champ, so after 15 minutes of searching, we deemed this a closed case. Maintenance Man tried to convince me that it could’ve flown out of my room when we left to get the broom, but I knew better. It was somewhere in my room…hiding, waiting.
By this time, I had woken up my dear, dear suitemate, who kindly let me store some of my important belongings in her room. It was getting really late, and as much as I didn’t want to leave my dorm with the potential of coming back to find the bug (or worse, the bug and 100 of its babies), I knew that with my assignment due later and all of the other events I had planned for the day, I needed to begin getting ready.
Maintenance Man had advised me not to let this bug drive me crazy and to call him if I came face-to-face with it again. With that in mind, I decided to get my toiletries from my room and take a shower. As, I was looking in my closer for what to wear, something flew out of my closet and over my head. It was Bugzilla!
I immediately shrieked in fear and ran out into the hallway. I ran to find Maintenance Man, who quickly followed me back to my room with broom in hand. The bug had returned to swarming around my light, but this time we were prepared. Maintenance Man began swatting and soon had the bug cornered between the broom and my heater. While holding the broom with one hand, he tried to get some tissue from my desk with the other, but he took too long and, indeed, the bug got away…again.
Maintenance Man was under the impression that the bug had shimmied into the vents of my heater, so to get rid of him once and for all, I turned my heat up and barricaded the vents so buggy-boy wouldn’t be able to escape the inferno.
Feeling quite content that I had seen the last of Bugzilla, I took a worry-free shower and finished getting ready for class. Maintenance Man left to continue his maintenance-ly duties and I was happy that the battle was finally over.
As I was getting my stuff from my suitemaite’s room, I realized that I left a book I needed in my room. So, I went back to my room to retrieve it from under my desk. Once I picked it up, I noticed something small creeping toward me. IT WAS NONE OTHER THAN BUGZILLA!!! The bug hadn’t gone into the vents like we thought; it was chillaxing on my floor waiting for me to leave, so it could fly around again and procreate.
I screamed and ran out of the room to find Maintenance Man for the last time. I told him the bug was back and we immediately ran to my room. Thankfully, the bug remained where I left it and Maintenance Man was able to squash that little bugger once and for all. He then used a paper towel to remove the bug guts from my carpet. I was FINALLY free from Bugzilla’s reign of terror.
Although, Maintenance Man and I were fortunate enough to come out of this war victoriously, the possibility of falling short was just too close for comfort. This day, this solemn day in American history, shall forever be known in my life and in my heart as The Infamous Battle of the Bug at Room 10154.